~The Quest towards Pearly Whites~

11 Feb

It has been at least two weeks since I last wrote about grieving the loss of part of my tooth.
After the visit to the dentist this week, I figured I needed to update you on what is happening.
Contrary to what my mind had already convinced my heart of, I do not need to have all of my teeth pulled for dentures!
The dentist is very kind and took the time to explain to me that even though I have been diligent about the care of my teeth, sometimes there are things that are not in our control!
I was very surprised at this explanation and he elaborated.
Your genetics, body chemistry, medications and what you eat and drink are all factors that affect the health of your body, mouth and teeth.
After listening, I told him I guess that leaves me with a trio out to attack my teeth!
He stated that unfortunately, he would not be able to salvage my broken tooth. The roots or what is left would not withhold the repair to enable me to keep my tooth.
I could feel my anxiety rise as he told me that I need to have the tooth pulled. I have networks of facial nerves that do not know they are supposed to follow a blueprint. It is hard to find and numb them and with my mouth being so small, very painful after work is done due to cramping of my facial muscles afterwards.
I shared my anxiety with him. He proceeded to show me the last filling.tooth he had repaired. Pointing out the extensive dental work on this tooth, he reminded me that it took a lot more time to do that work than he will have to do pulling the offending tooth now!
He reassured me that I did great then and will do fine for this procedure.
I left with such a mixed array of feelings; thankfulness, sadness, twinges of fear, regret, anger and resentment.
I cannot believe that out of all this dredges up that I wish my mom was around so I could tell her what is happening in my life right now. I do fine for a while, then go on my merry way and something like this blindsided me.
Missing her so much lately, not having her advice, her laughter. It is so hard to believe that she has been gone for almost 19 years.
I want to ask her why she got dentures as such a young age, did she have these problems? Just to hear her say one more time that it will be ok. I search memories to try to remember the sound of her voice.

My husband also went to the dentist and his attitude is angry about the dental work he needs. Well, we don’t have $4000 to fix my teeth. We have to live in the meanwhile.
How does it come down to this? Going from having insurance and retirement to nothing? I am currently searching through my house, seeking what I can sell to raise the money. I am stubbornly refusing to give in to the mentality of….oh we are poor, it just happens!
According to society, we are not poor.
We have a beautiful family, a small farm, our cars are paid off (even though only one is currently running), we are trying to balance our lives.
The children have health insurance, dental and vision. Even with the insurance comes copays that need to be kept paid up and current.

This morning I am readying to go do the chores to care for the animals and farm we are blessed with.
My children up and eating a hot breakfast, with a warm home and starting school.
On the morn of having my tooth pulled I am reflecting, how far do we go in search of Pearly whites? Is this Vanity?

Mayday ahah 253

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One Response to “~The Quest towards Pearly Whites~”

  1. Jen Cave February 11, 2013 at 6:09 pm #

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